by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Self-Love
Are you feeling overwhelmed more often than not? Do you feel like life is passing you by without you really realizing it?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF?
When was the last time you truly did something with the sole purpose of making yourself feel good at a deep level, something that made you truly feel alive and reminded you of how blessed you are to live this life and be who you are.
Sometimes we get stuck and bogged down by the everyday – we rush and rush and go from doing one thing to another, doing and doing – without ever stopping to ask ourselves the greatest questions of all.
DOES THIS MAKE ME HAPPY?
AM I TRULY ENJOYING THIS?
DOES THIS NURTURE ME?
IS THIS HOW I WISH TO SPEND MY DAYS?
There is no easy answer to this and not one answer fits all simply because we are all different, with very different needs.
But one thing can help you find the answer you seek.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND RECOGNISE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
I find that the starting point to setting ourselves free and closing the gap between where we are vs. where we want to be is to first acknowledge where we are with pure honesty and a certain amount of love and care towards ourselves. It may hurt, it may be hard to accept, it may feel easier to ignore that lingering feeling inside by filling up our lives with activities and on-going busyness but until we acknowledge what we are feeling and accept those feelings, they will just keep on coming back.
Remembering that where we are today and what we are feeling right now is feedback, we can come from a place of love and understanding and simply acknowledge these feelings without trying to bottle them up or put them aside, but by simply being.
#1. Acknowledging our feelings and the choices that have created those feelings is the 1st step to stopping the pressure we put ourselves under, and the 1st step towards releasing those feelings.
#2. Recognise Honesty. We need to show utter honesty towards ourselves in acknowledging those feelings and the possible reasons behind them. We might not always know at first glance what may have caused these feelings to erupt, and that’s ok. Just be honest with yourself.
#3. Acknowledge that the past is the past. It is no longer in existence at this point in time. You can’t change it. All you can do is listen to the feedback you are receiving and learning from it so that you can impact the Now and your future.
#4. Acknowledge love is all there is. Stop beating yourself up for all those things you did or didn’t do or wish you had done. Can you change that? No. So move on. Forward is the only way. Acknowledge your actions and forgive yourself.
#5. Recognise forgiveness. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness.
#6. Acknowledge and Release those feelings. Let them be and come to life. When you acknowledge them, accept them and let them be, you can finally release them, thanking them for having taught you what you needed to learn at this exact point in time in your life.
We are only as good as the choices we make right now. The past is no longer in existence. All there is; is right now. Come from a place of love towards yourself and others instead of fear, acknowledge those feelings and set yourself free.
BE. HERE. NOW.
CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR.
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Self-Love
For years I have struggled with the idea of Me first. Putting myself first always equated to being selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, egoistic and a long list of many more not so positive descriptions. Surely if we were just about ourselves how could we have gotten here, how could we ever grow and contribute? How could we ever find meaning?
That’s how I felt until I lost myself. I applied the everyone first principle instead, giving all I had, my energy, kindness, understanding, support, hard work and so on to everybody else. This in turn filled me with joy and a sense of satisfaction and meaning – like I meant something, I counted for others, they needed me.
The only problem was that I put aside the ‘Me’ part and did not balance out my dedication to the outer world with some inner dedication.
So eventually I dried up. I gave so much that I had nothing left to give and I stopped feeling. I became a robot, a machine, doing but not feeling. I no longer knew what I liked, what made me happy or unhappy, I couldn’t feel joy anymore or pain.
All I felt was INDIFFERENCE. I was dead inside.
It was time to have a good look at myself, my life, and what was happening.
A lot of inner work was required. No turning back, I needed to dig in and go deep.
On this journey a few lessons came in handy.
#1. Indifference was just feedback. Whatever it is that we feel at certain points in our life, it is pure and simple feedback of what we have been putting out there and its result on our being. You might feel anger, sadness, joy – whatever that might be – acknowledging that this is pure and simple feedback of what is working or not, allows us to acknowledge the guidance we are receiving.
#2. Feedback is neutral and should not equate to beating ourselves up for it. We might have made mistakes, made the wrong choice for ourselves or not dared to do something and we are getting the feedback we need to move on to the next step or phase in our life. Beating yourself up is a waste of time. Acknowledge the feedback and start working on what’s next.
#3. You can only nurture others when you nurture yourself first. ‘Me’ first is not about being selfish, ‘Me’ first is crucial to you being of any value to anybody else. If you do not look after yourself and love yourself first, how can you help or expect anybody else to do exactly that? How can you teach your children or support your friends and family?
#4. You only get to live once. If this is the only life you get to live, don’t you deserve to treat yourself well and look after yourself first? Who else is going to do that if not you? You are a GIFT. You have been given the gift of life. We all need to live up to that; not just take it for granted and let life pass us by.
#5. Stop the bullying. Yes, these words may seem strong. But are we not our worst bullies? Are we not all bullies at some point in our life? We bully ourselves day in and day out. We self-criticize and treat ourselves with such hardship – our inner voice screaming – ‘you can do better; how could you fail; fight; get up; how could you miss that; why did you say that; why are you being so weak…’.
#6. Talk to yourself like you would a child. Would you ever utter these words of hardship and criticism to your 5 Year-Old child? You would probably come from love instead and support your child in making a better decision and learning a lesson from it. So why are we talking to ourselves this badly? A bit of understanding and care and love towards oneself goes a long way. Our self-talk is everything.
#7. Cut yourself some slack. We are all human. We all make mistakes and we are all perfect in our own ways. Choose love over fear. Choose to love YOU first and treat yourself with something everyday. Do something for YOU and only you. Have that piece of chocolate, or that haircut or that walk or that 5 minutes meditation. You deserve it. It is your duty and responsibility to love yourself first and honour the gift that you have been given.
CHOOSE YOU.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND DECIDE OF THE CHOICES YOU NEED TO MAKE TODAY
TO START LIVING AGAIN.
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
