by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Awareness
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE REALLY PRESENT?
I often wonder about what we are becoming. We live in interesting times, constantly triggered by new technologies and information seeking our attention. Our phones have become an extension of our beings. In the midst of this, we seem to have become more at ease checking our social feeds than speaking or smiling to the person sitting next to us on the train. We portray moments of joy with friends and family, beautiful pictures of nature and travels and share inspirational quotes.
BUT ARE WE REALLY THERE WHEN WE LIVE ALL THESE AMAZING MOMENTS? Or are we focused on portraying that moment, portraying a life we are actually failing to live.
It just seems harder and harder for us to JUST BE AND BE HERE NOW.
A few weeks back, I attended the concert of Maroon 5 in Singapore and was reminded of how some of us may have lost track of who we truly are and what really matters in life.
I assumed we were all there for the same reason – enjoy the music and ambience – feel something special, maybe feel shivers or excitement from living it live.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe we were there to just record that moment in hope that we may get the best pic? or in hope that our social posts show off how happy we all were, what an amazing experience we were having.
BUT WERE WE REALLY THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?
As soon as the band came on stage, all that could be seen were hundreds of hands stuck in the air trying to capture the moment while blocking out the actual band from everyone’s sight.
When my friends and I started dancing and having fun – we were frowned upon for disturbing people.
Half way through the concert, hundreds of people in the pit were turned towards the screens facing the exact opposite direction from the stage, actually turning their backs to the singer, ironically, the person they came to see in the first place.
WHEN DID WE FORGET WHAT IT MEANT TO JUST BE AND HAVE FUN?
What have we come to? We seem to be shortchanging ourselves – giving away our real lives in exchange for pictures and videos of what we think it should look like.
Would we not all be happier if we could just for a second enjoy that moment for that moment in itself.
BEING HERE NOW IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE.
A choice that impacts the quality of the lives we live today.
A choice that determines your ability to truly feel.
A choice that makes all the difference between living fully and letting life pass you by.
And while I understand the attractions of our mobile phones and social networks I guess all I am saying is that sometimes we could all benefit from JUST BEING HERE NOW.
For that moment in time maybe we could:
DANCE OUR HEARTS OUT. FEEL THE BEAT.
EXPERIENCE THE JOY.
BE THE CHILD THAT WE ONCE WERE,
THE CHILD WHO KNEW HOW TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, LIFE WOULD SURPRISE US AGAIN WITH ALL OF ITS JOYS.
BEING HERE NOW IS A CHOICE WE ALL HAVE.
ARE YOU REALLY THERE?
#beherenow #loveoverfear #complete #thegiftofhappiness
by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Awareness
I write a lot about the art of consciousness in my book and strongly believe that higher awareness and consciousness are the keys to unlocking so many beautiful things in our lives.
Consciousness can be defined as our capability to understand and fully integrate the now and the being in this exact point in time.
It has been the center of many philosophies, spiritual practices and scientific research since the age of time.
Research has even proven its benefits on the human brain and some schools in northern Europe have already made meditation a part of their curriculum, transforming the way we look at education today.
Whichever teachings you believe in or follow, consciousness is at the heart of living a life full of peace, joy and love.
We read about it, talk about it, go to yoga classes and meditation classes, detox centers and spiritual retreats all in an attempt to find peace and stability in our beings and lives, hoping to integrate it into our routine. Some of us can’t live without it, constantly learning and implementing new practices, others remain skeptical of its benefits, unclear of where to start, why they should and what they can get out of it. What worked for me might work for you.
START SMALL AND MAKE IT A DAILY PRACTICE.
When I started my journey I was aided by my two beautiful mentors. I had attended classes and retreats in the past but as soon as I got back to work and the pressures of daily life, I always left it aside within a couple of weeks.
BUT THIS TIME IT WAS DIFFERENT.
5 MINUTES A DAY IS ALL IT TOOK.
5 minutes a day when I made the conscious decision to take 5 minutes for myself, breathe and notice my being.
- Find a quiet place. Sit upright with your hands on your knees, facing upwards or downwards. Close your eyes.
- Breathe in and Breathe out and just focus on your breath. Feel your lungs fill up with air and breathe out. Stay still and just breathe.
- Your mind may fight you for a while and the thoughts of a million things you need to do unravel in your head. It’s ok. Just breathe and say ‘ Thank you for watching out for me. Please come back to my breath now’.
- Stay there and do this for as long as you need. Open you eyes and sit still for a while before you get back to business.
5 MINUTES A DAY IS ALL IT TAKES.
Like anything new, it is all about practice and consistency.
The benefits are limitless – you will feel calmer throughout the day and have a clearer picture of your priorities. You will feel a sense of self and alignment to your being that will allow you to cope better with your day. You will feel more energized to take on the day. It will become easier for you to calm your nerves down and see the bigger picture and so much more.
Raising our awareness is key to living a better, richer, more fulfilling life. Give yourself those 5 minutes a day and choose love over fear. Practise the art of being. Be. Here. Now. And just be.
Love.
Xxx
Steph.
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Self-Improvement
Here I am again, hammering my head and banging it against the walls of my own brain. Well at least that is what it feels like right now.
I want something. I want something so badly that it is the only thing I can think about. I can visualize it. I can picture it. Yet the minute I picture it, my mind is already tearing it apart, breaking it into small little pieces, telling me what could go wrong, what doesn’t work and keeps on asking me but how and why? How am I going to make this happen? Why do I want this so much? Why do I feel so frustrated?
So here I am, focused on the HOW again and stuck with it. I know full well I should be focusing on the what and letting it flow, letting things come my way and happen for me in due time. I am so eager to get what I want the way I want it right now, that nothing is coming my way, everything seems like a struggle, my mind blocking every chance of a result.
LET IT GO. LET IT FLOW.
Some call it analysis paralysis. I call it feedback.
Feedback of me not being able to let go; feedback of me not trusting the outcome, feedback of me not trusting myself to reach the outcome that I desire. Feedback of me wanting to control everything, including the things I can’t control.
Our desire to control the HOW and the WHEN in life is the reason we get frustrated and stop events and opportunities from coming our way.
We need to learn to let go. Literally wish and let go trusting that everything happens for a reason and it happens at the exact right point in time for us.
Few tips that help me when I get lost:
RELEASE.
BREATHE.
CHOOSE.
#1. Release the pressure.
Do you really need to have it and have it right now? Will you die if you don’t? Are you not worthy without it? Are you even sure this is exactly what you need? Will it really make everything better? Cut yourself some slack. In life we are often better off receiving what we need instead of what we want. Release the pressure and trust that it will come to you in the best form possible for you at the right point in time.
#3. Breathe in and breathe out.
Find that place in you who loves and trusts herself or himself enough to handle anything that comes their way. There is nothing to worry about. Whatever happens you can handle it. You always have until now. Trust your journey.
#4. Choose Love.
The reason we try and control comes from our fears, a fear to lose, a fear to not be loved or recognized, the fear of not being good enough or worthy enough. Whatever the fear triggering this incessant need to control, replace that fear with love. Love that you have a need to control but that you know better, love that you might be a bit worried right now but you have always handled it in the past so there is no need for such fear right now. Love that you are who you are today, strong and confident and that you have learnt from all your mistakes, love enough that you can now trust and let go of the outcome.
THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL STUCK:
RELEASE. BREATHE. CHOOSE.
LET IT GO. LET IT FLOW.
Love,
Steph
Xxx
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Self-Love
Are you feeling overwhelmed more often than not? Do you feel like life is passing you by without you really realizing it?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF?
When was the last time you truly did something with the sole purpose of making yourself feel good at a deep level, something that made you truly feel alive and reminded you of how blessed you are to live this life and be who you are.
Sometimes we get stuck and bogged down by the everyday – we rush and rush and go from doing one thing to another, doing and doing – without ever stopping to ask ourselves the greatest questions of all.
DOES THIS MAKE ME HAPPY?
AM I TRULY ENJOYING THIS?
DOES THIS NURTURE ME?
IS THIS HOW I WISH TO SPEND MY DAYS?
There is no easy answer to this and not one answer fits all simply because we are all different, with very different needs.
But one thing can help you find the answer you seek.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND RECOGNISE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
I find that the starting point to setting ourselves free and closing the gap between where we are vs. where we want to be is to first acknowledge where we are with pure honesty and a certain amount of love and care towards ourselves. It may hurt, it may be hard to accept, it may feel easier to ignore that lingering feeling inside by filling up our lives with activities and on-going busyness but until we acknowledge what we are feeling and accept those feelings, they will just keep on coming back.
Remembering that where we are today and what we are feeling right now is feedback, we can come from a place of love and understanding and simply acknowledge these feelings without trying to bottle them up or put them aside, but by simply being.
#1. Acknowledging our feelings and the choices that have created those feelings is the 1st step to stopping the pressure we put ourselves under, and the 1st step towards releasing those feelings.
#2. Recognise Honesty. We need to show utter honesty towards ourselves in acknowledging those feelings and the possible reasons behind them. We might not always know at first glance what may have caused these feelings to erupt, and that’s ok. Just be honest with yourself.
#3. Acknowledge that the past is the past. It is no longer in existence at this point in time. You can’t change it. All you can do is listen to the feedback you are receiving and learning from it so that you can impact the Now and your future.
#4. Acknowledge love is all there is. Stop beating yourself up for all those things you did or didn’t do or wish you had done. Can you change that? No. So move on. Forward is the only way. Acknowledge your actions and forgive yourself.
#5. Recognise forgiveness. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness.
#6. Acknowledge and Release those feelings. Let them be and come to life. When you acknowledge them, accept them and let them be, you can finally release them, thanking them for having taught you what you needed to learn at this exact point in time in your life.
We are only as good as the choices we make right now. The past is no longer in existence. All there is; is right now. Come from a place of love towards yourself and others instead of fear, acknowledge those feelings and set yourself free.
BE. HERE. NOW.
CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR.
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
by Stephanie Owen | Nov 30, 2020 | Self-Love
For years I have struggled with the idea of Me first. Putting myself first always equated to being selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, egoistic and a long list of many more not so positive descriptions. Surely if we were just about ourselves how could we have gotten here, how could we ever grow and contribute? How could we ever find meaning?
That’s how I felt until I lost myself. I applied the everyone first principle instead, giving all I had, my energy, kindness, understanding, support, hard work and so on to everybody else. This in turn filled me with joy and a sense of satisfaction and meaning – like I meant something, I counted for others, they needed me.
The only problem was that I put aside the ‘Me’ part and did not balance out my dedication to the outer world with some inner dedication.
So eventually I dried up. I gave so much that I had nothing left to give and I stopped feeling. I became a robot, a machine, doing but not feeling. I no longer knew what I liked, what made me happy or unhappy, I couldn’t feel joy anymore or pain.
All I felt was INDIFFERENCE. I was dead inside.
It was time to have a good look at myself, my life, and what was happening.
A lot of inner work was required. No turning back, I needed to dig in and go deep.
On this journey a few lessons came in handy.
#1. Indifference was just feedback. Whatever it is that we feel at certain points in our life, it is pure and simple feedback of what we have been putting out there and its result on our being. You might feel anger, sadness, joy – whatever that might be – acknowledging that this is pure and simple feedback of what is working or not, allows us to acknowledge the guidance we are receiving.
#2. Feedback is neutral and should not equate to beating ourselves up for it. We might have made mistakes, made the wrong choice for ourselves or not dared to do something and we are getting the feedback we need to move on to the next step or phase in our life. Beating yourself up is a waste of time. Acknowledge the feedback and start working on what’s next.
#3. You can only nurture others when you nurture yourself first. ‘Me’ first is not about being selfish, ‘Me’ first is crucial to you being of any value to anybody else. If you do not look after yourself and love yourself first, how can you help or expect anybody else to do exactly that? How can you teach your children or support your friends and family?
#4. You only get to live once. If this is the only life you get to live, don’t you deserve to treat yourself well and look after yourself first? Who else is going to do that if not you? You are a GIFT. You have been given the gift of life. We all need to live up to that; not just take it for granted and let life pass us by.
#5. Stop the bullying. Yes, these words may seem strong. But are we not our worst bullies? Are we not all bullies at some point in our life? We bully ourselves day in and day out. We self-criticize and treat ourselves with such hardship – our inner voice screaming – ‘you can do better; how could you fail; fight; get up; how could you miss that; why did you say that; why are you being so weak…’.
#6. Talk to yourself like you would a child. Would you ever utter these words of hardship and criticism to your 5 Year-Old child? You would probably come from love instead and support your child in making a better decision and learning a lesson from it. So why are we talking to ourselves this badly? A bit of understanding and care and love towards oneself goes a long way. Our self-talk is everything.
#7. Cut yourself some slack. We are all human. We all make mistakes and we are all perfect in our own ways. Choose love over fear. Choose to love YOU first and treat yourself with something everyday. Do something for YOU and only you. Have that piece of chocolate, or that haircut or that walk or that 5 minutes meditation. You deserve it. It is your duty and responsibility to love yourself first and honour the gift that you have been given.
CHOOSE YOU.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND DECIDE OF THE CHOICES YOU NEED TO MAKE TODAY
TO START LIVING AGAIN.
#loveoverfear #beherenow #selflove #complete #thegiftofhappiness
